


It's Just Another Saturday Night

by brokenpromisesandhope



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Twins, Best Friends, Child Abuse, Childhood Sweethearts, Childhood Trauma, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marijuana, Multi, Munchausen Syndrome, Panic Attacks, Slut Shaming, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenpromisesandhope/pseuds/brokenpromisesandhope
Summary: Eddie and his twin sister turn eighteen in two weeks. Bev, Richie and Tabby formulate a plan to get Eddie to lose his virginity.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends!  
> Last time I wrote a chaptered fic it was for one direction. That's how long it's been so I'm gonna try to keep up with this regularly, I'm about halfway done. 
> 
> Anywho, I promise this is Reddie, there's just 80 other storylines that appeared throughout. 
> 
> XX  
> T

Edward Timothy Kaspbrak was born seventeen minutes before his twin sister Edith Tabitha Kapbrak and he’d never stopped letting her know it. They were born to two parents, Frank and Sonia, both people who should have never been parents. Their dad had split when they were six and Sonia had been unbearable ever since. They’d both had tons of health issues growing up, which led to Sonia being overly caring and clingy. They weren’t really allowed to do anything throughout their childhood. 

The biggest blessing the twins had was their neighbors, the Tozier’s. Maggie and Went were a far cry from Sonia and Frank as far as parenting styles, but after Frank left and she’d had to start working, she didn’t have much of a choice. The Tozier family had one son, who was their age, Richard. 

The three children had grown up together and become the best of friends. The three children, Edward, Edith and Richard turned into Eddie, Tabby and Richie and they grew up much too fast like kids do and the twins are two weeks from their eighteenth birthday. 

Eddie was a little uptight. Little, but fierce, Richie called him. His mom allowed them each one activity, as she never got home until seven pm, and Eddie’s was track. His wardrobe consisted of tiny, multi colored shorts and assorted fanny packs containing enough Neosporin to envy a large first aid kit. He was smart and into his studies and the three of them were going to NYU in the fall. Eddie was going for marine biology. He’d taken to slicking up his hair with tons of gel, and he took the time to close shave every day, though he didn’t think he’d ever be able to grow a beard. 

Eddie was the sickest twin. He’d had so many things taken from him because of his mysterious illnesses. Track made his asthma act up, though he never told his mother. Some days he let her take care of him though. It was all so much. Keeping up with his daily medications and his inhaler. He was even supposed to have his coach take his blood pressure before meets. So sometimes, after school it was easier to call his mom from work and have her come take care of him. Homemade soup and a rated PG spongebath, and the strong pills she keeps locked away in her bathroom, as she held him to her bosom and told him everything would be okay. Being sick was hard. 

Tabitha did everything in her power to appease her mother in public and disobey her in private, and it mostly worked out for her favor, which is why she’s allowed to spend hundreds of dollars a month at the salon to bleach her brown hair and wax her eyebrows and get her nails done. Her blonde bob and thin eyebrows are enough to appease her mother, so long as she doesn’t see the glittery makeup that Tabby slaps on in the car on the way to school. She’s smart and has a banging body and is much more carefree than Eddie. Her activity was cheerleading, but she was more closely monitored by Sonia. 

Mother and daughter relationships were always difficult, however Sonia seemed to hate Edith. She was blonde and thin and pretty and smart and liked, everything Sonia had never been, and it all was unleashed onto Edith. As long as she followed the in house rules and didn’t get caught, she was fine, but Edith understood the way that hatred pumped through her mother’s veins. 

Richie is the most obnoxious person Eddie has ever met. He’s loud and crude and fucks around constantly and doesn’t take anything seriously. His hair is always messy and his glasses are ridiculous. Sometimes he forgets to shave, for days on end, and gets a scruffy beard that looks surprisingly good. The only thing is he dresses like he’s color blind. Messy oversized button downs over assorted tees and jeans or chinos. He’s always wearing oversized clothes and he’s so large that it looks ridiculous. 

Eddie and Richie used to be close, back when it was acceptable to be close to another boy. They’d held hands and played every game together and gotten fake married by Tabby. They’d never been able to have sleepovers but they laid too close to each other in the hammock on hot summer days, covered in sunscreen and sweat. They’d had their first kiss on one of those summer days. In fact they kissed the whole summer between thirteen and fourteen until Sonia caught them and tried to put an end to it. Richie and Eddie never kissed again, and their friendship was strained.

That’s why Eddie was jealous of Tabby, because she got to be close to Richie. And these days, she must have been a little too close to Richie, because ever since her boobs had come in and Richie had filled out and started smoking joints in the school parking lot, rumors had swirled about them. Neither his twin nor Richie seemed to care. And you’re probably wondering why Eddie would care. And the answer is simple. Edward Kaspbrak is in love with Richard Tozier. 

Richie was everything that Eddie wanted. He was hilarious and smart and kind. Yes, he was a dick and mean, but he also mowed every lawn on their block for free. Well, he got paid in assorted baked goods that only helped fill out his thick waist and gently rounded stomach. He’d led a funeral for his bunny, well Tabby’s bunny that was banished to his house after it had been discovered. Richie never made fun of Eddie for being sick, even when he couldn’t play as many games as Richie wanted. They’d never fully explored the woods behind their houses. Well Eddie couldn’t. So Richie didn’t. 

They’re sitting at their usual table outside, Richie’s smoking a cigarette from his spot on the table and Eddie’s sitting on the bench cramming for his physics test tomorrow. They’re waiting for Bev Marsh,Tabby’s best friend, and Tabby to come so they can go the hell home, but they haven’t talked. Seniors got to leave a half hour early, so a lot of them were still lounging around. It was a nice day out and Eddie wanted to spend it in front of the Tozier’s pool, which he could if Tabby would just hurry up. 

“Rich the Bitch!” he hears. 

His sister bounds up, wearing a white crop top and black high waisted shorts. Richie’s staring at her legs. Eddie rolls his eyes. 

“Big Titty Tabby, how are ya love?” he chirps, looking up from his phone. 

“Brother,” she says, hopping up on the table next to Richie. 

“Sister,” he responds, shoving his notebook in his backpack, “Where’s Bev?” 

“She’s coming, what’s the plan for tonight?” 

“I have homework.” 

“You always have homework Edward. Let’s do something. One thing before we get this project from Whitmeyer.” 

“I’m one thing.” 

“Richard you couldn’t offer one thing if-” 

“Bet. I got one thing right here.” 

“Oh fuck off.” 

“Shut up,” Bev chimes in, walking up. She’s dressed in a corduroy oatmeal colored jumper and a light blue sweater, her red hair shining in the sun, “Let’s go to the Quarry. It’s nice enough.” 

“That sounds fun,” says Eddie. He likes Richie’s pool more than the Quarry, obviously there’s no algae in the pool, but it’s still hanging out with his friends, which he will take. 

“Okay bet,” Richie stands up and puts the cigarette out with his shoe, before picking the butt up and depositing it in the trash can. 

Jesus, Eddie is so obsessed with him. 

The four of them pile into Richie’s car and turn the music up too loud. Richie drives and Tabby is in the passenger seat, despite Richie’s offer that Eddie could ride. Eddie can barely keep his feelings in check, which is why he’s in the back, trying to drown out what can no doubt be flirting between him and Tabby. He and Bev talk about school and Eddie’s college worries and Eddie’s outfit choices for their birthday party. 

The Quarry is packed, but beautiful and they shed their clothes and grab towels and head to lay out. Richie and Eddie end up sharing a towel and it’s hard not to stare at Richie’s bare chest. It’s starting to get hairy and he’s so thick and tall and muscular and broad, Eddie snaps his eyes shut and tilts his head towards the sun. 

Eventually Richie stretches and his head turns to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie shivers, despite his burning skin and he blinks open his eyes to see what Richie’s doing, but he sees that Tabby’s French manicured toes are on Richie’s leg and he frowns, shifting away from Richie. Richie stiffens and immediately pulls away. 

“So Eddie, who are you in to right now?” Bev asks. 

“What?” 

“Like, who’s your crush of the moment?” Tabby asks. 

Eddie does not glance at Richie. 

“I don’t really like anyone.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“I’m serious. Unless you’re really serious, in which case, what is your type, so we can plan your party accordingly.” 

“Bev, slow down.” 

“I think Eddie likes uptight, virginal girls with promise rings.” 

“Well I think you like... sluts!” He hates it as soon as it comes out of his mouth. 

“Slut shaming is so tacky Eds,” Tabby says sharply. 

“I don’t want anyone,” Eddie mumbles. 

“Fucking lies. You want someone to tickle your pickle, don’t you Eddie Spaghetti?” 

“Oh god stop,” says Eddie. ‘

He’ll never admit his crush. 

The thing is, he tries to avoid Richie. Avoiding Richie means avoiding thinking about kissing him, loving him. Eddie wasn’t allowed to hang all over Richie the way Tabby was allowed to. As a matter of fact he wasn’t allowed to cuddle with Tabby anymore either. The way people turned innocent touch into something inappropriate disgusted him. But what disgusted him even more was getting sick. Which is another reason he and Richie would never work. He and another person would never work, because there were too many things to catch. Well, another person he wanted, at least.


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie should have taken the project more seriously. They all should have taken the project more seriously. It was an English project, where you got to pick a book and then create a blog, or some form of social media for the main character. It was worth 15% of their overall semester grade. Bev got paired with Ben Hanscom, a new kid. He was hot so she didn’t care. Tabby got paired with Mike Hanlon, a football player who Eddie was suspicious of. Worst of all, Eddie was paired with none other than Richie. 

Richie sucked at school work, he did. He had ADHD and he was loud and cared about everything else but work. He focused on his art and comedy sketches, which he’d started when they entered high school. Eddie didn’t know much about it, since they’d stopped being close by then. Well Eddie had stopped being close. 

He’d packed up every feeling Richie gave him, every memory, every hobby that reminded him of Richie. That’s why the only things left were reading and track. You can’t think when you feel like your lungs are about to collapse. 

They’re confusing, his feelings. He’d tried to be friends with Richie, but he was the one with the problem. The dirty little thing always trailing behind Richie like a puppy dog. He was pathetic. 

It was okay when you were three or five or even ten. To follow someone around. Eddie wasn’t allowed to do much, well he wasn’t allowed to do anything, but Maggie made small exceptions here and there. Especially with their pool. Eddie didn’t learn to swim until he was seven, and it was only because Richie had just gotten his cast off that he learned. He’d broken his arm falling out of a tree that Maggie had told him not to climb. That Eddie had told him not to climb. 

So it’s his first day out of his cast and the first thing he does is cannonball into the pool. Eddie sits quietly in his swim trunks. They have turtles on them. Tabby said they were baby-ish. Richie said they were cool. But his had sharks. Eddie would never be as cool as Richie, that, he knew. 

It doesn’t take a lot of begging, mostly because their kids and friends and have no idea what it means that Eddie, who cried most nights taking a bath, took Richie’s hand and let his friend lead him down the stairs, until he was standing on his tip toes in the water, slightly floating in his life jacket, while Richie cheered with a big, buck toothed smile. 

Eddie didn’t know it yet, but that was the day he decided he would follow Richie anywhere.   
Eddie didn’t want to work at his own house, and he and Richie did get to spend time together. Without Tabby or Bev. He doesn’t even know why he wants to spend time with Richie alone. It’s bound to end in disaster. 

That afternoon, after school, Richie drives the two of them to his house, one hand on the wheel, the other holding a cigarette out the window. 

“So Eds. What are you gonna do for your birthday? Or who are you going to do?” He nudges Eddie. 

“I dunno. I'm boring. Maybe go to a movie with you guys. If you’re free. ”

“Us? Your sister is going to be getting banged by a fifty year old in between getting tattoos and smoking cigarettes.”

“Gross.”

“You could be too Eddie.” 

“Uh, no. I’m just going to play it lowkey.” 

Richie rolls his eyes and puts the cigarette out in his ashtray.

“You’ve been playing it lowkey for five years.”

Eddie pauses, his cheeks flaming. He knows exactly what Richie is referring to. He was the one who’d freaked about the kissing. He’d punched Richie once, when he wouldn’t let Eddie go. He hadn’t been trying to kiss Eddie, he’d been trying to get him to stay, to talk. 

*** 

“Eddie please.” 

“Why? I shouldn’t even be here. My mom would kill me!” 

Richie grabs his arm, 

“What? You’re just never going to talk to me again? See me again?” 

“I don’t know Richie! What else I’m I supposed to do? It’s wrong! You know it is.” 

Richie digs his nails into Eddie’s skin so hard that half moon shapes begin to appear in his pale skin. 

“It is not wrong.” 

“It is. Mama said so. Besides, I have a lot of health issues and-” 

“You’re making excuses!” Richie cries out. “You’re my best friend Eddie.” 

“Best friends don’t do, that, with each other.” 

“Kiss? Kiss?! It’s innocent Eddie.” 

Eddie shakes his head, tears thick in his throat, 

“The thoughts I have about you are not innocent.” 

Richie exhales sharply, 

“Eddie I have the same-” 

“Don’t. Don’t. Please don’t tell me. I won’t be able to leave if you do.” 

Blood is springing up under Richie’s nails, 

“Then don’t. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me.” 

He’s pleading and his blue eyes are so wide and crystal like, and vast like the ocean, where Richie will get to travel someday, because he can leave this godforsaken town and make something of himself, and Eddie can’t. He won’t be able to. He’s too sick and his mother would never let him. Eddie can’t hold Richie back. He can’t make Richie that way. 

He can’t make Richie gay. 

*** 

Maggie and Went are still at work when Richie lets them in the house. Eddie hasn’t been here in years. His visits were strictly outdoor only. Maggie always tried to get him to come in for lemonade or dinner and he always refused. He takes his shoes off as Richie kicks his off, scattering them across the doorway. He heads towards the kitchen right away, tossing his backpack in the general direction of the kitchen table. Eddie sets his by legs of a chair and Richie goes to the freezer and pulls out a giant bag of pizza rolls. They’re supreme. Eddie’s old favorite. Because he hasn’t eaten pizza rolls since he was a child. Because they were child food. But also, even when they were kids, Eddie demanded one vegetable. Richie got used to it eventually. The fact he still had them in his freezer… 

He watches Richie flip on the oven and grab tons of other snacks from the cupboard, 

“Brain food,” he explains, opening the fridge. He tosses Eddie a can of Mountain Dew. 

“You’d have to have a brain,” Eddie mumbles. 

“Oh fuck off. I only repeated the fourth grade once!” 

Eddie snorts, 

“What’s the excuse for seventh grade?” 

Richie rolls his eyes, and places the pizza rolls on a tray. 

“So what type of bullshit do you want to do?” 

Eddie sits down at the table, 

“I’m not doing this whole project myself,” Eddie snipes. 

“Who said you had to?” 

“Your reputation. The fact you fuck more than you study,” Eddie snaps. 

Richie laughs and plops onto the chair right next to Eddie. 

“Careful there Eds, someone might think you sound jealous.” 

“As if!” 

He ducks down to grab a notebook and pen out of his bag, to hide his blush. 

“It could be you, if you’d just let Bev set you up. She has lots of slutty friends.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes, 

“Tabby’d kill you if she heard you say that.” 

“Well Big Titty Tabby can kiss my pimply ass!” he shoves a handful of chips in his mouth. 

“Do you have to call her that?” 

Richie shrugs, 

“Face it,” chips spray from his mouth, “your sister is hot as shit.” 

“Disgusting.” 

Richie sighs dramatically, 

“Oh like you’re not equally as hot.” 

Eddie snorts, 

“Hot? I’m not,” 

“You must not hear the way they talk about you.” 

“The girls?” he asks, shocked. 

“And the boys,” he says with a shrug, “Apparently your legs catch all the eyes at school.” 

Eddie squirms, crossing his bare legs out of habit. When he looks up, Richie is staring at his legs. 

“Yeah, I see what all the fuss is about.” 

Eddie blushes, 

“Anyway, I was thinking we could do the report on The Catcher in the Rye, I don’t know if you actually finished that one but it’s good.” 

“I did! My man Holden!” 

Eddie smiles. 

They don’t get a ton done, but they get enough done to call it a night, right as Richie invites him for a game of 2k. He feels slightly bad ditching, but when he hears Maggie’s shrill voice, he knows he’s making the right choice, even though Richie looked semi disappointed. He doesn’t know what that means. 

Richie’d already been headed to the couch assuming Eddie would say yes, and Eddie’s staring at him as he walks away. He’s tall now. Much taller than Eddie. He’s wide too, and broad, and his ass is squeezable and his thighs, and he shuffles along, barely picking his feet off the ground just as he always has. He sits on the couch that Eddie knows all too well. He’s frozen where he stands and Richie looks up at him, as if there isn’t five years in between them. 

“You coming bro?” 

Eddie wants to. He wants to. And then he hears the garage open and Maggie call for him and even Richie can tell the opportunity has passed. He walks over to Eddie, smiling softly, 

“Next time.” 

Eddie lets him hope, 

“Yeah.” 

Richie follows him to the doorway and he grabs his bag, he doesn’t know what Richie wants from him. He looks up at him. He’s always looking up at him. Literally or physically. He can smell Richie’s cologne, and he’s feeling lightheaded. He has to get out of here before he says or does something stupid. 

He rocks back and forth on his heels, about to say goodbye, working himself up to say goodbye, when Richie does something unexpected. He leans forward and wraps his arms around Eddie. His thoughts are a mix of comfort and sweetness, his touch starved ass falling into the hug. But the other thoughts are not so innocent. He thinks about himself underneath Richie , on top of him. He’s so large and Eddie is so small and Maggie is calling for him again. Something about groceries. He pulls away much too quickly, and Eddie’s body moves slowly as he pulls away. 

“Bye Eds,” Richie grins, “I’d better get out there.” 

“Bye,” Eddie says softly. 

When he gets home, Tabby is on the couch painting her toenails, 

“Where have you been? Mom’ll be home soon.” 

He looks her up and down, 

“You’d better be gone by then.” 

She shakes the nail polish bottle at him, 

“Last coat. I put off leaving because I thought I’d have to cover for you.” 

“Nope. Just me covering for you. Like always.” 

“Don’t sound so bitter, it’s unbecoming,” she says smartly. 

“Where are you going?” He sits down next to her. 

“Mike and I are meeting to work on the project.” 

Eddie’s nose scrunches up, 

“It’s like eight o’clock.” 

“So? The night is young. Who knows where it’ll take us, his car, his house, his bedroom.” 

“Eww!” he shoves at her and she squeals, 

“Eddie! My nails!” 

“I don’t know if I trust him.” 

“Why not? You don’t even know him.” 

“He’s a football player. He’s, I don’t know.” 

She rolls her eyes, 

“Yes, he’s a football player. He’s also going to school for agriculture in the fall and he loves scary movies and green skittles and-” 

“Oh ew you like him!” 

“I do not like him!” 

“You’re blushing!” 

“So what if I do?! I’m going to invite him to the party tonight.” 

“Party?” 

“Our birthday party. Shut up Eddie, you sound ridiculous. We’re having a huge ass party next week at Stan’s.” 

“Stanley Uris? Do we know him?” 

She shrugs, 

“Well I know him. Pretty well, so he’s hosting it for us. You need to find a date. Who’s your partner again? Ask them.” 

“It’s Richie, you know this.” 

“Oh yeah. Ask Richie to be your date.” 

“Why would I want to go with the guy you lost your virginity to?” 

Tabby barks out a laugh and gathers her nail polishes into her arms, heading to the bathroom to put them away. 

“Don’t believe everything you hear dumbass!” she calls over her shoulder, “Richie’s cool. He’ll make sure you have a good time.” 

“Is that code for something?” Eddie asks, confused. 

Tabby laughs, 

“My innocent brother. What to do with you.” 

She heads to the door to strap on her shoes and grab her backpack, 

“Mike’s here. Hey, at least talk to Bev or something. You’re about to be the big ONE- EIGHT! You have to lose your virginity some time.” 

“Who says I’m a-” 

“I don’t have time for this. Don’t wait up!”


	3. Chapter 3

His crush on Richie is getting out of control. They’ve been meeting daily to go over their report. It’s going to be a combination of Instagram and blog posts of Holden’s throughout the story. Richie’s got the same sarcastic wit that Holden has and he’s so funny. Eddie had forgotten how funny. The jokes never stopped rolling off of his tongue. Richie brought him a coffee every afternoon from the coffee shop on the corner, and they sat too close together, working on their own computers. 

They sit too close and sometimes Richie’s bumps his leg with Eddie’s, or stretches and reveals the dark patch of hair that leads into the joggers he can’t stop wearing. Either he freeballs every day or he’s just that hung. Either way, that is information that Eddie simultaneously does not need to know, and stores away for later use. 

Richie’s charming, and he’s actually a pretty hard worker. They take several more breaks than Eddie would ever need to, most of them involving food, which Richie usually insists on buying. It makes Eddie uncomfortable but they don’t have a lot of extra money. Richie knows this. It’s something unspoken between them. Always has been. Doesn’t stop Eddie from blushing when Richie rips out his card before Eddie can say anything. Eddie usually elbows him in thanks, relishing in the skin to skin contact. 

They haven’t hugged since the first time they’d studied together. There seemed like there had been a few moments where it seemed like Richie would, but he didn’t, and Eddie was too chicken shit. So he took what he could get. 

It’s Monday afternoon, and they’re laying in the library. 

“Did you find a date for your party?” Richie asks, nudging Eddie’s leg with his own. 

Eddie shakes his head, 

“I told you man. No one’s tripping over themselves to get a piece of this.” 

Richie glances over at him, 

“They should be.” 

Eddie flushes red and moves closer to his computer. 

“So earlier. You said no one.” 

They’ve flipped onto their stomachs in the children’s corner of the library and their arms are touching. 

“No one what?” 

“You said that no one was tripping over themselves to date you. Did you mean anyone?” 

Eddie turns to his side to look at him, 

“What do you mean?” 

Richie turns to his side, 

“You know what I’m talking about.” 

“No I really don’t,” Eddie says, annoyed now. 

“Boys! Do you care if boys like you too? Do you like boys?” 

It’s silent. Richie is panting in frustration and Eddie squeaks when Richie grabs his arm. The scene is all too familiar. 

“You owe me an answer. You owe me an answer dammit! That’s not fair.” 

“Ssh. Ssh, you’re going to cause a scene.” 

“Cause a scene?! I’m about to kick your ass!” 

Richie’s nails are digging into his skin, leaving half moon shaped marks, 

“Tell me.” 

“Richie let go of me.” 

“I’m not letting you go.” 

Eddie doesn’t know what that means. 

“Yes. Okay?! Yes, I like boys. I know it’s disgusting and I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m sick, okay? Richie I’m sick!” he cries. 

“Eddie you’re not, you’re not sick,” Richie clings to him and shakes him. 

Eddie’s near tears and he pulls away from Richie quickly,

“I’m not doing this with you. I’m not doing this.”

“Eddie,”

“You, you leave me alone.”

His bag is packed and he rushes out into the fresh air. It’s not until he takes the turn into his driveway that he realizes his arm was bleeding. 

They don’t meet again. Eddie dodges Richie at every turn. He does the entire project himself, cutting out Richie’s posts and content, but leaving both of their names on it. Richie doesn’t need to know that his posts made Eddie insecure. They were funny and witty and provocative. Eddie’s are barely entertaining. It doesn’t matter. This project doesn’t matter. Richie Tozier doesn’t matter. 

They get an A, which Richie only sees in his online grade portal, because Eddie doesn’t even let him see the final project. He tries to talk to Eddie but he nearly runs every time he sees him. Richie watches him. Sink into himself. Not look at anyone or anything. There’s a word for it. When you’re not where you are. When you’re trapped in your head, imagining you’re somewhere else. But it’s a big word so Richie doesn’t know it. 

***  
Tabby is sitting in the front seat of Richie’s car. They’re parked back behind the football field smoking a joint. 

“What’s going on with you and my brother?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Cut the shit. He’s been moping around the house the past week. What did you do?” 

“Why do you assume it’s me?” 

She laughs and hands him the joint, 

“Because you’re a dick. Now, what happened?” 

Richie inhales slowly and blows smoke towards the windshield, 

“I asked if he liked boys.” 

She whistles, 

“Ooh. Eddie’s repressed sexuality. That’ll do it.” 

“Do you think he’ll ever talk to me again?” Richie asks, genuinely concerned. 

Eddie doesn’t seem to have any trouble keeping his distance. He could keep this up for a long time if he wanted to. 

She turns to face him, crossing her legs under herself. 

“Depends if I put in a good word for you.” 

Richie arches an eyebrow, 

“What do you want?” 

She grins. 

Eddie’s annoyed. He’d waited for Tabby after school and she hadn’t showed up, so he’d walked around the whole school looking for her, when he spotted Richie’s car across the field. He can’t get close, but he gets close enough to see that they're close together and hotboxing. Eddie glares. He wants to snap at Tabby but he can’t. He can’t expose himself. 

Besides, he’s gross and pathetic. Rumor has it that Tabby already had Richie, in the tenth grade. Eddie believed it some days, the way the two interacted, but then he’d see Tabby interact with any male and it was the exact same. Some days Richie interacted with Eddie the same way. Flirty and sexual and dangerous. 

Eddie is ready for her the second she comes in the door. She smells like weed and cigarettes. She’ll have to shower before Mama gets home. 

“What’s up?” she asks.

“What the hell are you doing with Richie?” 

She kicks off her heels, dropping a good three inches, before heading towards the stairs. Eddie follows her as she heads upstairs. He stops outside her door and she shuts it halfway, and starts grabbing her pajamas. 

“What do you mean doing with Richie? We’re friends. We hang out.” 

“Like you hang out with Stanley Uris?” 

“And like I hang out with Mike Hanlon. I hang out with a lot of people Edward.” 

“Notice how all of those people are boys.” 

Tabby whips open the door, brown eyes narrowed fiercely, looking more like him than ever, cheeks red and teeth bared, 

“Do you have something to say to me Edward?” 

“Yes! Stop whoring around!” he says shrilly. 

What he means is stop hanging around Richie. 

“Bet Eddie. Fucking bet.” 

She pushes past him to the bathroom. 

Eddie waits by the door for her to come out. He has to apologize. He went too far. Just because he’s disappointed and disgusted with himself, doesn’t mean he needed to take it out on Tabby. She’d done nothing wrong. She was his little sister. He loved her. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t. His whole life, Tabby was the favorite. Mama’s little princess. She got everything she wanted. Then she had to go and be pretty. She was beautiful, both inside and out, and everyone seemed to want to get a dose of her in their life. She was charming with everyone and had tons of friends, where Eddie had no one. It wasn’t her fault that Eddie was bitter. 

She comes out in just a towel, the clothes bundled in her hands. Her face is bare of makeup and her hair is pulled into two tiny pigtails. She scoffs when she sees him there and slams the door in his face. When she comes back out, she’s in an oversized hoodie and a pair of leggings. The doorbell rings. 

“Where are you going?” he asks. 

She looks herself up and down dramatically, rubs her nose, sniffles, 

“To go whore around Eddie. Don’t wait up.” 

***

Richie: Dude what the fuck 

Eddie: The project is over. Give it a rest. 

Richie: Fuck the project! What did you do to Tabby? 

Eddie: Nothing. 

Richie: Well Mike Hanlon just called me cause he can’t get her to stop crying over nothing so fuck you Eddie 

Eddie covers for Tabby as best he can, but she doesn’t come home at all that night. In fact, he doesn’t see Tabby again until the next morning. She’s clearly in someone else’s clothes and she waltzes in like they don’t have school in twenty minutes. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” He demands, standing up quickly. 

“Nowhere.” 

“Mama was worried.” 

She rolls her eyes grandly, 

“Oh fuck her.” 

Eddie’s eyes widen, 

“Don’t say that Edith.” 

“Pulling out the full name in defense of your precious mother. I’d expect nothing less, Edward.” 

“She’s given up a lot for us, you know. Twins, Dad leaving, we’re always sick-” 

Tabby snorts at that and Eddie braces himself. Tabby can be a mean girl. 

“I don’t want to discuss mother right now. Are we going to school or not?” 

He looks her up and down, 

“Are you wearing that?” 

He doesn’t mean to be a dick, but they’re another guy’s clothes! To school! No wonder everyone thought- he stops the thought immediately, disgusted with himself. She’s in front of him in a second, blood red nail poking into his chest, 

“Edward. I will destroy you. Shut the fuck up. You are so self absorbed, Jesus! You have no clue what’s going on outside of your little fantasy world! You’re almost eighteen Eds! This is pathetic. Being at your mommy’s beck and call, going to a safe close school-” 

“You couldn’t get in anywhere else you idiot! You got a nineteen on your ACT!” 

“I was hungover!” 

“Twice?” 

She grabs him by the collar, 

“I’m not kidding. If you ruin this party for me, I will ruin your life.” Her voice is cold and she did always look older when she wore makeup. Her eyes are narrowed but look suspiciously glassy. 

Eddie nods, 

“I got it Tabby,” he snaps. She grabs him tighter, “I got it,” he says softer. 

She grabs her backpack, 

“Let’s go. I’ll text Rich for a ride.” 

“I’d rather walk.” 

She heads towards the door, 

“And be late?” 

He groans. She locks the door and heads across the lawn. It’s not until he slides in the backseat of Richie’s car, muttering a low “thanks” before he realizes that the back of her hoodie hadn’t said Hanlon. It had said Uris.


	4. Chapter 4

“Here’s the thing, he’s not going to come quietly,” says Tabby. They’re sitting in Richie’s room getting high. She’s laid across his bed vertically, Bev horizontally, her head on Tabby’s stomach, feet hanging off the edge, Richie cross legged at the top left corner of the bed. 

“God I know. It’s so annoying. I keep trying to offer up potential dates and he just stares like a deer in headlights,” Bev says loudly. 

“This was a shitty idea. He’s never going to let himself be with me. Certainly not by next weekend,” Richie pouts. 

Bev rubs his thigh with her , 

“Don’t worry baby, if Tabby can bag both Hanlon and-” 

“Anyway. Richie, stop. It’ll be fine. If he hadn’t been such a prick, we’d have had our heart to heart already, but he’s so irritating.” 

“What did he do?” he passes the blunt to her. 

“Slut shaming, mommy praising, the usual.” 

“What?! That’s not okay,” Richie shouts, cheeks red. 

“Slow your roll there cowboy. He’s harmless. He doesn’t know anything about anything.” 

“In his defense,” Bev drawls, “you are doing something new with-” 

“Aye Beverly, shut your fucking mouth maybe.” 

Richie looks between the two of them, too high to even attempt to follow anything that is going on, 

“What am I missing?” 

Bev ignores him, inhaling deeply, before blowing smoke straight up to the ceiling, 

“Whose house were you at last night?” 

Richie’s so fucking confused, 

“Mike right? He texted me so,” 

“Yes Mike. He was my project partner and he’s pretty cool so we’ve been hanging out.” 

Richie rolls his eyes, 

“We all know you’re banging, it’s fine. He’s cool.” 

Bev passes to Richie, bored now, it clearly wasn’t coming out today, 

“Okay, about Eddie and this party.” 

Eddie gets sick the week before the party. He has a sore throat and cough at first, and he tries to tell his mom this. She frets anyway, bans him from school and track for the time being and sentences him to bed. He doesn’t feel bad the first day, but the illness escalates to a stomach bug, and a cough that causes him to wheeze. Mama’s near distraught and takes Friday off of work to take care of him. 

He’s semi thankful for that, as he seems to have gotten sicker, nearly overnight. He keeps a bit of soup and juice down, and that’s when he’s allowed to watch TV. He has to stay in his room of course, to keep the germs contained, so he doesn’t see Tabby the first two days. 

He’s near delirious on Saturday night after his medication and dinner of peanut butter toast. He’s sweating, but wrapped in blankets, watching his ceiling fan spin. There’s a quiet knock on the door and then Tabby creeps in. It’s got to be late. Mama would never allow it. 

“Tabs, you shouldn’t be in here, you’ll get sick” 

She rolls her eyes and nudges him over, 

“I’m not gonna get sick bunny.” 

She pulls him so his head is resting on her chest and runs her hand through his sweaty hair, 

“When did you get so sick? I thought it was just a cough.” 

Her question makes sense, but he’s so foggy it takes him a minute to compute, 

“Um, Mama said-” 

She sighs, kisses his forehead, 

“Eddie, bunny, did it get worse after you told mama?” 

Eddie starts to cry. He doesn’t want to talk. He’s in so much pain, his stomach is eating itself from the inside out. Tabby just shushes him. It’ll be okay. She’s going to make it okay. 

She slides out from underneath Eddie and heads to her room, quietly. She shuts her door and quickly texts Richie, before shoving everything she thinks she needs into a backpack. She then heads back to Eddie’s room and grabs his wallet. By the time she’s gathered some stuff and picked out an outfit, Richie’s calling her. She silences it and creeps downstairs to let him in. 

“Babe, what the hell,” 

She shakes her head with a finger pressed to her lips. He follows her upstairs to Eddie’s room, 

“Help me put some clothes on him.” 

“Where are we going?” Richie asks, grabbing the pair of sweatpants she’d picked out. 

“The hospital.” 

He’s got Eddie’s legs in the pants and is maneuvering him to pull them up, 

“What’s wrong?” 

She bites her lip and stares up at him, her brown eyes wide, 

“Something’s not right.” 

She tucks Pupper, Eddie’s stuffed dog he’s had since he was a kid under her arm as Richie helps Eddie get up. They finally make it to the car. Richie’s near tears when he grabs Tabby’s arm, 

“Please, what’s wrong?” 

“I can’t tell you until I have proof. Hospital. Please.” 

***   
They got married when they were six. It was a very big deal. Maggie thought their relationship was the cutest, and vowed to set up a beautiful backyard wedding. They plan for a week. Maggie watched them daily during the summers, and was always looking for something to entertain them. 

It was a beautiful week. On Monday they made invitations. Of course everyone who received one was already involved in their wedding. Tabby made the decorations on Tuesday. She cut out multi colored snowflakes and hearts, and Maggie helped her attach them to one of those cheap child canopy sets, to drape over the ‘alter’. 

On Wednesday they take a trip to the local thrift store to pick out outfits. They’re in the store for nearly an hour as the three kids run around trying to find outfits. Tabitha ends up in a matching pink strawberry tank and skort set, and Maggie coos over her, scooping her up in her arms, even though she’s much too big for that. Eddie chooses a pair of black shorts and a purple collared polo shirt. His taste fit his personality and Maggie can’t help but laugh. Her own son picks out green cargo shorts, a Rugrats t-shirt and a horrendously ugly yellow and blue printed men’s shirt that comes down to his knees. He cries until she gives in. Eddie holds him and tells him he looks beautiful. 

Thursday they go to the grocery store and pick out a wedding dinner. They end up choosing frozen pizza and nachos. Maggie had ordered them a tiny cake with an R+E in pink icing, just because. She loved her son, and he loved Eddie. She could tell it would be a special kind of love. 

Friday was the big day. Eddie didn’t want to sleep in Richie’s room that night because you weren’t supposed to see your husband before the wedding! Eddie insisted. Maggie is starting to get the feeling that Sonia watched too many wedding shows. Nonetheless, he doesn’t take no for an answer, so Tabby sleeps with Richie and Eddie takes the extra bedroom. 

The wedding ends up being at eight in the morning. And that’s with Maggie postponing it. Eddie had woken her up at 5:58. Even Richie was out of bed early, by seven. Eddie ran to hide in his room, while the two late sleepers stumbled downstairs to eat the breakfast Maggie had made. 

They get dressed and Richie dances down the aisle to ‘Who Run the World’ by Beyonce, and Eddie laughs and Richie swoops in to kiss Eddie on the mouth and Maggie snaps a picture and Richie carries Eddie on his back towards the picnic table that yes, even at eight am, has their frozen pizza on it. Richie had always been bigger than Eddie, but it’s still funny to watch him struggle to carry the shorter boy around. Richie smushes some of the cake into both Eddie and Tabby’s faces, and so they all have to take a bath. 

Maggie is overly delighted as she walks the kids home that evening, leftover cake on a plate for them. Sonia answers the door with an annoyed look. She always looks annoyed when she sees Maggie. Which Maggie doesn’t understand for a lot of reasons. Most of them being financial. 

“Sonia, how are you?” 

“Maggie, I’m well. Hi kids, go wash up for dinner.” 

They rush in the house and Maggie hands the cake over, 

“Aw, I wish you would have been here for today! The boys got married and it was so cute! Oh they just adore each other so much. Hold on, I have pictures-” she goes to reach for her phone. 

“Did you say a wedding?” 

“Oh yes, it was just so precious-” 

“Don’t you think that’s a little gay?” she snipes. 

Maggie starts, 

“Oh. They’re just children Sonia, it’s harmless.” 

“It’s not. I have a gay cousin and that is,” she shivers and Maggie’s spine stiffens, “not someone to be around children. And my children certainly won’t have any of that nonsense shoved in their face.” 

“I’m sorry you feel that way. Won’t happen again.” 

“It best not.” She says shutting the door. 

“Fucking bitch,” Maggie mutters, walking back across the lawn. 

***

They wait for three hours before anyone tells them anything. Eddie had been brought in right away due to his condition. It’s the middle of the night, so all Tabby can do is sit next to Richie and cry into his chest. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make any jokes. They sit in silence until a doctor comes out. 

“Ms.Kaspbrak?” 

She rushes over to him, 

“Yes. Hi. How’s my brother?” 

He purses his lips, 

“He’s okay now. He’s very lucky that you brought him in when you did. Now Miss, does your brother have any history of suicide attempts?” 

“What? No! Of course not! Why do you ask?” 

“Well, this opens up another can of worms then. Miss, your brother was poisoned.” 

“I’m going to kill her. I’m going to fucking kill her!” Richie screams. 

Thank god they’re outside. He inhales his cigarette angrily. 

“You’re, you’re sure?” 

Tabby can’t stop crying, 

“He had a cough Richie, a fucking cough! And then he told Mama and,” She hiccup sobs and reaches for the cigarette. 

Richie sits next to her on the bench, 

“What did the doctor say exactly Tabby?” 

She sniffles, 

“He said the poison caused his appendix to rupture, which was causing the pain. He doesn’t even fucking have ashtma Richie.” 

Richie puts his head in his hands, 

“Jesus fuck. What are we gonna do?” 

Eddie wakes up to two sleeping bodies and a pain in his throat. He takes a sip of water from the cup on his bedside table. He remembers waking up in the hospital, voices. His eyes scrunch shut against the tears but they fall anyway. There’s an obnoxious zebra print gift bag sitting on the bedside table. He takes it quietly. He can’t face reality. 

He opens the bag. It’s a huge stuffed dog with gray and black spots and huge blue eyes. There’s a note, written in a handwriting he knows all too well. 

Figured it’s time to replace Pupper. Choose a better name this time. - R


	5. Chapter 5

They tell Maggie first. It’s still the middle of the night, Mom’s still sleeping, but she’ll be waking for church soon. Richie calls her and tells her to get to the hospital immediately. She shows up, curlers still in her hair. They tell her. They call the police. They tell them. Well, Tabby tells them. Eddie sobs. Richie slides into the hospital bed and holds him tight. He melts into the touch immediately. Sonia isn’t picked up until after church. At Tabby’s request, 

“She’ll need all the prayer she can get.” 

After that it’s quiet. Eddie has to stay at the hospital for the next three days, and Tabby ends up going home the second day, to shower and change, with the promise she’ll be back with clothes for Richie and food. Richie doesn’t leave. He can’t leave. He’ll wear these clothes for the rest of his life if he can stay with Eddie. Keep him safe. Forever. He hasn’t shaved in the two days they’ve been there, or showered. He’s smelling a little ripe and his face is red and swollen from all of the crying. He hasn’t left Eddie’s side. 

“How could she do this to me?” Eddie asks quietly. 

He’s playing with his new dog. He hasn’t thought of a name yet. Both him and Richie are ignoring Pupper sitting on the bedside table and the new dog. That Richie bought them for him. That Eddie seeks comfort in them. That Eddie seeks comfort in Richie/ 

“She’s sick and fucking twisted. She’s fucking sick Eddie. This has nothing to do with you.” 

Eddie lets out a sob, 

“She’s my mama!” 

Richie pulls Eddie to his chest and rocks him slightly. Eddie’s so small. They haven’t done this since they were kids. Richie could pull him into his lap if he wanted to. He wants to. But he doesn’t think Eddie would like it, so he settles for kissing his forehead lightly. So lightly he isn’t sure if Eddie feels it. He wants him to have felt. He wants to do it again. 

Richie doesn’t consider himself a violent person. He’d punched a couple of guys in his days, but he never sought out fights or violence, he wasn’t that kind of person. Which is why he wakes up panicked in the middle of the night. He’d dreamt of it. Killing Sonia. He’d dreamt of wrapping his hands around her fat fucking throat and choking the shit out of her until the life drained from her eyes. 

He springs up, sweaty and panting. He shakes Eddie off of him and slides out of bed. He grabs his glasses and tears out of the hospital room, terrified of himself. Prison is justice, he knows this, and he’s never actively wanted someone to die. Poisoning your own child! And it had been going on for years! Eddie had always been sick, but he had an immune disorder. But he hadn’t! He’d been perfectly fine. He’d missed out on so many things. Boy Scouts and camping trips and amusement parks. Richie. 

He turns quickly and nearly knocks over a nurse. He panics and the room starts spinning and he plops to the ground. She drops the tray of food she’d been holding and falls down next to him. He can’t breathe. He’s tearing up. He’s shaking and rocking back and forth and she’s talking to him but he can’t fucking understand. He can’t understand anything. Why is it like this? Why is the world like this? Who does this? Why Eddie? 

As soon as it starts, it’s over. She’s still sitting next to him and he wipes at his face with his sleeves. 

“Sorry. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Are you okay? Do you need some water? Juice?” 

“No, no. Just a sit.” He leans against the wall heavily. 

“Brother?” she asks, gesturing to the door. 

He shakes his head, and she smiles, 

“Ah. Boyfriend. He’s a cutie. Very polite.” 

Richie knows he shouldn’t let it slide but he just smiles, 

“He is.” 

“He’s okay you know. He’s doing great. He’s going home Wednesday.” 

“I know. Just had a bad dream.” 

She nods, 

“I know the feeling honey. Near death experiences will do that to you. It just means it’s important to say what you need to say while there’s time. I was just telling my girlfriend that the other day. We had a little girl, six years old come in. She didn’t make it. But the point is that every day we have a choice, and we may never be able to have the perfect job or perfect house or anything, but you can have the perfect love. If you speak up and keep trying and never let them go,” she blushes and runs a hand through her blonde hair, “Sorry, I really shouldn’t have overstepped.” 

“No, no, thank you. Um, is the cafeteria still open? I think I’d better go grab something.” 

“Yeah it is. Note, skip the soup, but the sandwiches and brownies are really good.” 

“Thanks for the tip,” he looks back towards the door. 

“I’ll check on him. Take care of yourself. And bring me back a brownie! Leave it at the desk, my name is Tiffany.” 

He laughs, 

“Okay Tiffany.” 

He scarfs down two sandwiches, a bag of chips, two brownies and two cokes before he buys four more brownies, two for Tiffany. He leaves them at the desk for her and heads back to the room. Eddie’s still curled up on his side of the bed, and Richie takes off his glasses before slipping into bed. Eddie immediately wraps around him and Richie sighs. This is where he’s supposed to be. And he’s going to tell him. 

The opportunity arises the next day during their favorite Spanish soap opera. They’re hoarding vending machine snacks and Tabby is on her way with a couple pizzas, and it’s just, nice. Richie crushes his empty bag of chips in his hand and tries to toss it in the trash can. He misses of course. 

“For someone called Trash Mouth-” 

“Shut it Edward. Shut it!” 

Eddie laughs loudly and Richie turns to look at him. His brown eyes are shining and Richie is so in love that he can’t find the words. They’re trapped underneath his breastbone between his lungs and the lower valves of his heart. It hurts so much he can’t breathe. Eddie almost died. His Eddie almost died. His Eddie. 

Eddie’s not laughing anymore. He’s just staring at Richie. Richie’s staring back. Eddie blinks slowly. Richie kisses him. He swoops in quickly and pecks him lightly. Barely. ASking. To his shock and delight, Eddie kisses him back. Richie feels like cotton candy. Like sugar and air. He could cry. Let this last, let this last, let this last, he thinks. He prays.

**Author's Note:**

> The mine, “he felt like cotton candy, like sugar and air”, is not my line, it’s from Margaret Atwood.


End file.
